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​An Open Letter to John Dobbs

7/30/2020

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Dear John, 
 
I’ve read your article, “The Coming Pastoral Crisis” several times now. Some clergy seem to be resonating and identifying with your words. For them, I’m glad. I am deeply offended by your words. Your broad generalizations are critical and damaging to clergy. You see us as victims and martyrs. And your words denigrate our work. And so, I beg to differ. 
 
While you may not claim to speak for the brotherhood of clergy, I’m glad to speak up for the many clergy siblings I know and love who are criticized, betrayed, and mischaracterized by the insulting and pedantic way you describe us. I cannot speak for all clergy, but I can speak for a diverse group of inter-faith clergy colleagues. We are of many gender identities and sexual orientations, of many different races and ethnicities, of many different ages. We speak many different languages, occupy different stories, and come from different socio-economic backgrounds. And yet. We are united by our love of God, our love of peace, and our love of the people that we serve. We are, along with our people, the tapestry of God’s diverse, perfect love.
 
You say we are serving in ways for which we were not trained and have no experience. I am humbled every day by the work of ministry, and I am keenly aware that it is often too big a task for mere mortals. I am also aware of the many different methods of training, formation, and continuing education in which we participate. We spend time in hospitals for CPE, in fellowships, internships, and degree programs. We continue to read and study. And John, while the platform(s) of our ministry have changed in the time of COVID-19, the work itself has not: our job is to love God’s people and to point them to God. We are highly trained and experienced in this work. And as we form new clergy, we prepare them for the unknown because the future is cloudy. We know that we won’t always be able to see what’s coming. The days of clear vision and neatly packaged mission statements are over. Really, they’ve been over for a long time. And still, God never fails the faithful. So we are inspired, empowered, and ready to go.
 
You say we are doing our best, but are unable to keep it up. Ministry has always been demanding work. God’s work is never easy. It’s heartbreaking, challenging work. John, I agree that ministry is harder now in some ways. But I’m sure that you’d agree that none of us signed up for this expecting a sunny day, a walk in the park, and an ice cream. When I took vows at my ordination, I had no idea what was coming, but I knew that I would bury the dead, counsel struggling marital couples, bless babies, confront injustice, be loved and unloved, insulted and celebrated. This is what we all sign up for. By God’s grace, and with a little help from our friends, we will keep it up as lovingly and urgently as we always have. While you paint us as helpless and hopeless, I see a people who are adapting, transforming, and rising to the occasion.
 
You say that we are worried about ministries that are unable to operate and that the collapse of job and financial markets impacts the church. This is true. The pressure from every direction to open or not, to keep things going, to keep everyone connected, to pay all the bills is difficult. You’re quite right. There aren’t enough hours in the day to answer all the emails, make all the phone calls, run all the programs, and do everything else we’d like to do. And because we care, we carry this close to our hearts.
 
You say that we are exhausted. Less gathering does not equal less work. We are exhausted. I agree. All of us are making the best decisions we can with the imperfect information we have. All of us are working at least doubly hard. And still, we are not victims. We are not martyrs. I do not see the doom and gloom you describe. I see dedication. 
 
You say that we are not feeding our souls. And that is hogwash. The clergy I know do a great many things to find and be fed by God. We cook. We bike. We write. We pray. We run. We sing. We write music. We write midrash. We march for Black Lives Matter. We vote to protect and respect the dignity of every human being. We paint. We create Facebook baking groups that turn into beloved community. We pet our dogs and feed our cats. We might even be thinking about getting a bird. Perhaps, John, you might consider that some of us are private people, even though we are often in the center of things. Perhaps we feed ourselves quietly, privately, alone with our God. 
 
You say that we are not physically healthy. You don’t want to mention it – but then you do! You are critical of our bodies. Your words are ableist and fat-shaming. As if to be a good clergy person, we have to fit into the bodies society airbrushes to perfection. Each one of us is made by the same Creator, each one given the divine spark of God. Our bodies belong to us. And you have no right to judge how we keep them or how we use them. Each one of us is beautifully and wonderfully made; there need be no shame, here. Your criticism panders to a society that focuses far too much on individualism and superficial beauty. Is it not true that God looks upon the heart? And does not see with human eyes?
 
You say that we do not seek out mental health. Every clergy person I know sees a therapist, a psychiatrist, or is a part of a clergy support group. Including me. Some of us do multiple configurations of these things in order to keep ourselves mentally healthy. We know that our work is hard. So, while we don’t pass on things shared in confidence, sometimes we need backup. We have safe places to talk when congregational politics wound us and sensitive situations pull on our own stories. Mental health is built into the expectations of our ordination processes, requiring that candidates begin working with therapists and spiritual directors in order to learn these healthy habits. And when we are ordained, we lean on each other, on mentors and friends, we share our struggles, we share our stories, we build each other up.
 
You say that we have conformed to a 7 day a week schedule and are unwilling to take time off. Yes. Being online has changed the way that we work. Yes, it has meant significantly less time off. And yet, because it’s important, we are finding ways to take time off this summer to recharge. Many of us are grateful for the gift of lay people who step in to help so that we can unplug, even if it’s just for a few days at a time. I feel this personally, and I know that many of my colleagues do as well. What you say here is damaging to us, you make our generosity and our devotion look weak and ego driven. And I couldn’t disagree with you more. 
 
You say that we are in dangerous spiritual territory and you suggest that this time has made temptations irresistible. You name them: drugs, alcohol, porn, gluttony, and excessive television. Could you have picked a more dramatic list? For many reasons, I must ask: How dare you? Your list of vices and temptations is nothing more than the kind of scandal that St. Paul warns us against, urging us to mark our words and watch our tongues so that we don’t lead anyone else astray. It’s tone deaf and insensitive to our colleagues who are in recovery and it creates chaos and doubt where there is none.
 
And so, to all of this I say:  You underestimate us. You underestimate the people we serve. You underestimate the God we serve. Your words serve only to criticize hardworking clergy all over the country who are doing their best to love God and serve God’s people. It’s offensive and it’s irresponsible. In making these accusations, you encourage the people we serve to worry, to wonder, to question our ability to serve them. And in so doing, you defeat the entire project of ministry. 
 
There is a very real clergy crisis in this country. This crisis isn’t coming. It is already here. There are many clergy retiring early, burning out, and leaving the ministry altogether. My colleagues who are leaving during this time all cite the same reasons, and none of them reflect your reasoning. Clergy are leaving congregations because of a general lack of support from lay leadership. They’re leaving because they can’t meet half the items on an ever-growing laundry list of consumerist desires. Because congregational politics are rarely centered on faith. Clergy leave congregations because of a lack of sacred relationships. Because they feel bullied, because they feel betrayed, because they feel undervalued. We aren’t leaving because the work is hard. John, the work has always been hard. Clergy leave congregations because loving God and their people at the same time has become too painful.
 
A dear friend of mine said a few weeks ago that, “the most painful thing is thinking you’ve invested time in sacred relationships with lay leadership, and then discovering that you’re actually just the help.” Instead of a sacred partnership, the shared leadership you thought you were building, it becomes clear that you’re just the help. And my friend is spot on. This is a deeply painful experience that happens to all of us. It happens many times throughout our lives as clergy, and it hurts every time. This is why clergy are leaving positions and congregations in higher numbers than ever before. COVID-19, with all its challenges, has highlighted the lack of sacred relationships, the lack of respect, the lack of gratitude. And where clergy are leaving because they’re healthy, because they know they deserve better, I commend their decision. Each one of us deserves to live, work, serve, and be in a place where the people we serve are as grateful for us as we are for them. Mutual sacred relationships are the key.
 
I’ve been asked several times to write a piece about the pressures clergy are facing now. And I’ve put it off. Because we are not the ones who are truly suffering. John, I don’t have to tell you that there are too many people dying of COVID-19, too many people are sick. As clergy, we are (most of us) not on the front lines the way that healthcare and essential workers are. We are not wearing PPE until our faces bleed. We are not bearing the brunt of this. Yes, our work is certainly harder than it was in February 2020. And yet. We are not the ones bearing the weight of this crisis. And that isn’t our only problem right now. Violence continues to be inflicted on black and brown bodies all over this country. And hatred and racism are alive and well. Not to mention our folks who have lost jobs, loved ones, and are experiencing many other kinds of injustice and oppression.
 
So, John, the next time you write an article about your sibling clergy, I hope you’ll say something different. When you acknowledge that lay leaders don’t understand the ministerial life, and seek to give them advice about how to support us, I hope you’ll say something more like this:
 
Thank your clergy. You would be amazed at how much a simple, heart-felt thank you means. A lot of us actually save them in a file or a special archive spot in our email. And we go back to those notes on the hard days to remind ourselves that our work does make a difference. A thank you – with no strings, no agenda – means the world. We don’t need grand gestures or emotional displays. Just some thanks. Last week, I received a 2 sentence thank you from someone about an email I sent to the parish. It was simple and kind. It acknowledged the consistency of my work. And it made my month.
 
Support us with your words and your presence. Be present. Come to events, encourage others to come, too. Show us that our work matters to you. Remember that if you talk about us, we will always hear it eventually – whether you said something kind or critical. Eventually someone always tells us. Critical comments and accusations are especially damaging if they come from a lay leader. And it’s the kind of thing that encourages clergy to leave otherwise happy positions.
 
Give your clergy the benefit of the doubt. None of us have worked through a pandemic before and none of us know what’s coming next. You may not always agree with the decisions we make as we navigate this time, but chances are, your clergy person has made them with you and your best interests in mind. Remember that we are people, too. We take our work very seriously, but it isn’t all of who we are. We also have personal lives and struggles that we often carry quietly. Most of the people we serve don’t know us well enough to know what’s going on in our personal lives – and that is a good thing! Like you, your clergy person has a life that is sometimes hard. Give us the benefit of the doubt and encourage others to do the same.  
 
Let us do our jobs. We have been called, hired, and chosen to do the work we do. From our positions of trust, we see a bigger picture, often in detail that we cannot share with you. If you’ve offered an opinion or an idea that we aren’t accepting, if you’re disappointed in something, if we disagree – remember that we see things differently. We are charged with the health and wholeness of the whole congregation. Be present, participate, and do the work that is yours to do, whatever that is in your tradition. That supports us in our work in hugely meaningful ways. Don't try to do our work. Support us by doing what's really yours to do.
 
Don’t tell us how to take care of ourselves. We already know how to do this. And you are not the judge of how well we’re doing it! We have mentors, friends, Bishops, spouses, therapists, and more. Don’t assume that you know what we should do or how we should work. 
 
Know that we love you. That’s why we’re here. Because we love God. And we love you. And when we work hard and make sacrifices, we do it joyfully. 
 
Dear John, you are in my prayers. If your words reflect how you and some of your colleagues feel, know that I am praying for you. And know, too that this is not the truth for many of us. Also, I pray that you’ll keep in mind that we have a larger responsibility to each other, to be mindful of the way we speak about one another. To avoid scandal and salacious accusations. The long-term damage, not only to us, but to our people, is simply too great. I hope that you'll encourage a different kind of support for our clergy siblings, support that includes respect and gratitude. Support that really is support. God bless you and keep you.
 
Faithfully,
 
The Rev. Marissa Rohrbach +

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Rituals and tears.

3/31/2020

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So, it's been a minute since I've written here. Okay, many minutes. Most of that has been about the busy-ness of being in a new parish, the time and attention it takes to get to know people and systems. And I wouldn't trade that time for a world. But now, here we are in the midst of this very strange season brought to us by coronavirus.

On a normal Sunday, after a full day of worship, meetings, formation - after 7ish hours of good, loving, God-centered work - of laughing and crying with God's people, I roll into the car. And on the short ride home from the parish, I tend to roll down the windows (unless it's below 15 degrees or so), turn up the music, and listen to the same song. I know, why, right? Well, because I'm a priest. So, I love rituals. It's this song: That's What I Love About Sunday, by Craig Morgan. Yes, I'm a country music fan. Yes, this is an old song. Yes, it's a little quaint. No, I don't care.

Here's why: Somehow, this little country song reminds me of everything Sunday should be. At least half the song is about church, about the gathered body, about the personality of a particular place and particular people. And that's what the parish is; it's the gathered Body of Christ, made up of particular personalities and customs that feel like home to us when we've nestled into the warm embrace of a community of faith. The song celebrates faith, singing, and togetherness. It celebrates some other things I like, too - football, jeans, family time, even a good roast. But I listen to this song every week on my way home from the parish because it reminds me how lucky I am. It gives me three minutes and nineteen seconds of time to intentionally reflect on my day, to remember the people I talked to who are hurt - so that I can pray for them later, to give thanks for the blessings, and to remember the privilege that it is to be Priest. It reminds me of the brokenness of community - and how God knits that up into something miraculous and beautiful. It makes me smile as I remember specific people in our parish family. And it tends to make me tear up, too. 

And today, in the middle of a working afternoon at home, in the middle of a pandemic, my computer thought it was a good idea to play this song (Spoiler: not a good idea!). A song I've not listened to while we've been worshipping virtually because - well, I'm not driving home. And we aren't together. So it didn't occur to me. And for the second time in our exile, I started to weep. Because we can't be together.

The first time was when I went to collect our Palm delivery at the parish last week. I took our Palms out of the box, stood them up in a bucket in the sacristy, and the sight of them caused everything within me to well up. And then there were tears. Because our rituals are important. Because I knew the tangible sign of the beginning of Holy Week would very likely not make it to God's people on time. And they won't, because there's no perfectly safe way to share them. All of a sudden, I could feel the loss of these weeks, the loss that it is to not be together, especially at this time of year, especially when we need each other so much.

So, today I'm feeling the loss. I've been intellectually aware of the loss the whole time. But today, I'm going to let myself feel the emotional loss of not being together. It's been lost in the midst of the heavy lift of moving our whole life online. But I feel it keenly today. And I need to feel it, because what we're missing is real. And it's so important to my understanding of life and of God. 

What loss are you feeling keenly today because of this time? What safe spaces can you find to allow yourself to feel the loss? To see it, acknowledge it, and even hold it for a while. Tell me what losses you feel so that I can pray for you. And together, we'll make our way toward Easter. 

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Christmas is coming.

12/22/2018

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I've had a lot of conversations in these last few weeks with folks who are feeling the Christmas crunch​. No, I'm not talking about the cereal (which I love!). I'm talking about the anxiety and chaos that the holiday season seems to create. As Christmas comes closer and closer, I think I can almost hear the tension in the air as it rises to a higher and higher pitch. 

The culture that we live in would lead us to believe that this is a season of perfection. We need to find the perfect gift to give someone. And make the perfect memories for our kids. We need to have the perfect picture to go on the card that we send out to all our friends and families. And interesting, perfectly punctuated things to say in the Christmas letter. Then we need to cook the perfect meal. And have the perfect house. And the perfect smile plastered on our faces all month long. And on and on and on.

And in the midst of that, this is also the season when so many hurt the most for so many reasons. Many of us, myself included, still sting at the loss of people we love and see no longer. We ache because of broken relationships, lost friendships, imperfect pasts & stories, and again, the list goes on and on. So, why is it that we feel the need to pretend that everything is perfect? 

Our faith tells us that there is very little that ever was perfect...and that much of this world never can be. And that God still called it GOOD! In fact, the only perfect person to have ever walked the earth was Jesus. He was impossibly, uniquely perfect. And the rest of the world? The rest of us? Not so much. And still God loved us SO much. Loves us so much.

The thing is, though, it's actually the imperfection that always makes my heart sing. It's the kid who forgets their line in the Christmas pageant, and instead says something else adorable. It's the laughter when someone tells that old family story one more time. It's the chip in the plate that you still use from your grandmother because it reminds you of her and of being a kid. It's the silliness that ensues when kids get to be kids. And it's two people sitting in a pew telling stories three days before Christmas because one of them has lost a friend - the timing is terrible, and the laughter is good.

The thing that's magic about Christmas is that Jesus doesn't come to a perfect world. And he doesn't tell a perfect story. The animals were smelly. The shepherds were dirty. There was no room in the inn. And when the angels appeared, folks weren't excited - they were terrified. And still, in the midst of all that comes the most perfectly fragile, impossible story - the story of our redemption. The story of love incarnate. Of a God who so loved the world that there was no price to high to save us.

For me, this Christmas is about finding the hope that breaks in to what isn't perfect. The peace that breaks in to what is chaotic. The moments of holiness that seem impossible and yet make such a difference. I pray that this surprising Christ child will be born in your life, too. That even in the midst of anxiety - and the pressure to be perfect - he might remind you that it is even in your imperfection that you are saved. And that God loves you just as you are. So take the funny picture. Don't worry about the burned cookies. And find this hope born anew in you in wildly imperfect ways. Even then, if you wrap those moments in love, God will call it good.

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When the heat breaks.

8/23/2018

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Today, the heat broke for the first time in what feels like ages. In Connecticut, it has been hot and sticky all summer. In fact, the humidity and heat have been more off the hook here than in Tennessee and Georgia when I was there a few weeks ago. It has been insane. And today, for the first time, the heat broke. The temperature was in the low 60s when I drove to the church this morning, and it stayed that way all day. It was the perfect summer roll-the-windows-down-and-turn-the-music-up day. I loved it.

The truth is, it would have been easy to miss this beautiful day, though. It would have been easy to let the day slip by, tied up and busy, without noticing the beauty of this day that God made; without taking advantage of it...without finding rest in it. 

At the same time, I had a few really powerful conversations with parishioners today. We talked about life and death, how active God is in our lives (or not active, sometimes as it may seem!), and about how much God wants us to change the world. We also talked about the rising pressure, among our families and in the world around us; that feeling that things just keep getting more and more intense - and there's no real release valve anymore. 

It's a spiritual gift to be able to take advantage of the moment when the release comes - when the heat lets up. Especially when it feels like it doesn't come often enough. How do we do that? How do we position ourselves to take the breaks when they come? To be paying enough attention to roll down the windows when there's a breeze? To be in tune enough with ourselves and the world around us that we're comfortable seizing the moment - or the day - when we can just be content? There will always be more work to do. And any of us that are realistic know that there will also always be more pressure, more surprises, more challenges around the next turn in the road. So how do we let go of that responsibly, and let ourselves take the win when it sneaks up on us?

Some of the answer is about gratitude. And some of it is about attentiveness. And some of it is about being willing to let go of the idea that we are in control, able to save the world, or to be in control. There's a humility in being able to say: stuff isn't perfect right now, and still, I'm going to be grateful for this thing God has given me. And this comes with intention - and practice.


 ‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ [Matthew 11:28-30]

Look for the windfall. Notice it when it comes. Believe that God has sent you a chance to rest, refocus, restart. Go roll the windows down and turn the music up, or do whatever it is that will let you reconnect.

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Please join us for our Welcome Home Sunday on 9/16!

We'll have special surprises at the 10:00am service followed by a big, festive joint coffee hour with WPC!


All are welcome!
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The Transfiguration & puzzle pieces.

8/9/2018

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This week, I've been thinking a lot about the Transfiguration. Fixed on August 6th, so just a few days ago, this is the story of Peter, James, and John going up the mountain with Jesus. And on the mountain, they see him transfigured - Jesus' appearance is changed, his clothes begin to sparkle, and he appears to be talking with Moses and Elijah. In this encounter, they are able to see his glory - and I would imagine that they come to understand a little bit more about who Jesus is. We know they don't really understand who he is until after the resurrection, but surely this experience would have changed their ideas - opened their minds - and probably terrified them a little bit.

How scary would it be to climb up a mountain, to be in the middle of nowhere to pray, and find that your friend was literally glowing? And sharing a conversation, before your very eyes, with fathers of the faith who passed away a long time ago? This must have challenged them. And I have to believe that they were able to see and engage in this moment because they had first gone up the mountain with Jesus to pray. They changed their location. They went away. Went away to pray - to listen, to be with God. And because they made this room in their day, in their minds, in their hearts, they're able to see an experience a piece of Jesus they didn't know before.

I'm thinking about this a lot this week because I, too, am on top of a mountain. I'm spending the week at the School of Theology in Sewanee, TN. One of the Episcopal Seminaries, this is a place that has a challenging past - particularly around race. And we are here, a large group of us gathered, to learn about Latino Ministry in the Episcopal Church and to study the history of Latino/a people who live in the United States. And we're talking specifically about how we can care better for many generations of Latino people, how we can make our liturgies and worship spaces more welcoming, how we can more effectively offer Christ's love across the boundaries of language and culture. I feel a little bit like the disciples, up here on the side of the mountain, looking for a piece of Jesus I've never seen before. Hoping to catch a glimpse of that love in action that I've been missing - to which I've been blind. And to learn how I can harness that love, with God's help and the help of other faithful people, to share further the good news of Jesus, to build more of God's kingdom now - to advance to hope of peace and justice. Together, on this mountain, we are seekers - we pray, and study, and think together - so that then we might go and do. Having been changed ourselves and learned some more about how to serve all people.

At the end of this week, we'll come down the mountain having spent time together in this intensive, immersion course. And we'll go to Atlanta to visit a detention center, and to be present with communities of immigrants and Latino people. We'll begin to practice some of what we've learned this week, and hopefully engage God's people with new skills - and maybe more importantly, new hearts - new eyes, new love. You see, there's magic in the coming down the mountain, too. Having seen Jesus transfigured, learning something more about him - we all must come back down the mountain to use that knowledge, to put our hearts and hands and new ideas to work. All of us can do this over and over again in our lives - in fact, we must. If we truly seek to follow Jesus, we must come away from the busy-ness of our lives, to make space to learn and pray - and to listen to other people who have different puzzle pieces than we do. In the hope that in the end, when we all put all of our pieces together, the image is one of peace - and welcome - and wholeness for all people - in all the diversity that God made, across lines of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, education level, and on and on. God calls each of us from time to time to come away, to listen, to learn, and to look for Jesus that we might have a new perspective.

Where might you go to find a new perspective on Jesus? Who might you talk to? What do you need to learn? How can you give yourself the chance to step away - to make room in your routine and in your heart to see Jesus more fully? To understand more about who he is and what he might be calling you to do? I want to encourage you, as summer winds to a close, to make some time for this important spiritual journey. Take some time. You don't need to go far away, and you don't even need to go up the mountain. You could just go to the supermarket and engage someone you don't know. Or go to a part of town you've not been to, sit - and listen. Make space for God to speak to you through the beauty of nature, through people you don't know, and even in the silence of your heart. Listen to the story of someone you never considered before - someone you thought you knew, someone who challenges you. Remember that God loves each one of us - all of us. And in this new perspective you've found, tap into that love from God that connects us all. Anchor yourself in it so that when you re-enter your life, that new perspective stays with you. Hang on to that new puzzle piece of Jesus - that new image. Take it with you, and let it enlighten your life. Let it help you point that same love toward your neighbor, toward all your neighbors. Go find him, and then come back down the mountain with him to change the world.

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Sometimes simple is better.

2/27/2018

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Last week, I had the privilege of flying to California with two of my colleagues from the Commission on Ministry to spend a few days with other clergy and laity from around the country learning more about the Restoration Project. I commend the book to you if you don't know it - and I suspect that we'll be influenced by some of what we heard in CA last week. For now, though, what I want to say is that what was most profound for me about those days in San Rafael was the call to return to the ancient practices of the church.

I talk with people so often about the presence of God in their lives. And often, in the midst of that conversation, I hear a deep desire to connect more deeply with God, to be drawn further into the mystery of God's presence in and among us. In Lent, this desire often rises even more clearly to the top as people seek new opportunities to serve or take on new practices of prayer and meditation. How do we pray? How do we participate more fully in God's mission? How do we follow Jesus more closely? All good questions, and particularly relevant in this season.

The truth is that for generations, the saints of God have been drawn more and more deeply into the mystery of God by walking down particular paths and practicing our faith in particular ways. They include prayer, service, study of scripture, stewardship of our time and resources, and communal worship. While this isn't the flashiest of answers - in fact, it seems rather run of the mill, doesn't it? It's actually the case that this time, the simplest answer is the best. Why do we recommend that you focus on these things in Lent? Because tradition tells us that generations of the faithful have come to know God more fully when they submit themselves to a life that is marked by these practices.

We come to know God better when we dwell in the Word - when we spend time each day - studying and learning from scripture. We are more centered and more grounded people when we find our strength and our comfort in daily practices of prayer. And we are better stewards, better neighbors, and more faithful creatures when these practices are priorities in our lives rather than just things we get to if we have time. That's part of the reason the knee-jerk reaction in Lent is often to add time for silent prayer or mediation or to join a Bible study. And of course, the ultimate hope is that, if you make time for this priority during the 40 days of Lent, you might be so transformed by the end of it that this habit simply becomes part of your life. No longer something you tried on for a while, but something you decide you cannot do without.

For me, I've committed this Lent to create even more time for my own silent prayer with God. Though I begin and end every day with prayer, I wanted during this Lent to add an extra twenty minutes in the middle of my day to just be quiet - no matter where I am - and to invite God again into my heart and into my day. I decided it was okay for this 20 minutes to float. So, today it happened rather early, around eleven because I have a rather full afternoon. Other days it may happen closer to one or two. In any case, the point is for me to remember in the middle of the busy-ness of my day, whose I am, and why I am so busy. On who's account I'm busy - and how much it is a privilege for this to be the case.

Perhaps you're really humming along with your Lenten practice. Perhaps you aren't. Perhaps you still haven't picked one? No matter where you are on this spectrum, I want to encourage you today to consider what you might add intentionally into your life to create more room for God. Maybe, like me, you need a pause in the middle of the day to stop and remember. Maybe it's something entirely different. No matter what it is, decide today, offer it to God, and remember that sometimes the simplest answer is the best. Bless you.

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Light among the ashes.

2/14/2018

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Today looks a bit different for us at St. Andrew's than it has for the last few years. Without being able to worship in our own space, it is necessary for us to change our pattern of worship. Which means, I'm only presiding at one liturgy today instead of multiple - and it means that twice already today (and it's only 4pm), I've had the chance to worship while others preside. I've received ashes twice. Once at the Commons at a midday liturgy as we worshipped with ECCT staff, and once at the CT Baptist Home as I visited one of our folk who lives there. Both liturgies, though in different traditions, invited the gathered Body of Christ to a time of repentance, of self-reflection, self-denial, and penitence. Both liturgies invited us to contemplate the mortality of our bodies and, by the grace of God, the eternal lives of our souls. 

It has been quite a few years since I have been able to sit in a  pew on Ash Wednesday, so it was a particular gift for me today. When we hit our knees, the muscle memory took me back to a small chapel at St. Patrick's in DC, the chapel where I received ashes throughout college, the chapel where I really discerned my call to the priesthood. When our celebrant, the Rev. Molly James, invited us, in the name of the Church, to a holy Lent, I was reminded of other moments when I've been so invited. And throughout the liturgy, was reminded of what a privilege it is for us to draw near to God. 

In many ways, the season of Lent is an invitation to draw nearer to God and to each other, and in some ways, it is an invitation to draw more near to the people God calls us to be. The ashes on our foreheads remind us of our mortality and of the ever-changing nature of this life. They remind us, too, as Molly said earlier today, that nothing in this world lasts forever. And yet, they take the same shape as the cross traced on our heads at our baptisms, a cross that reminds us of something very permanent - something that can never be destroyed or taken away from us: the promise of life in Jesus Christ who is victorious over death.

In our burial rite, we say, "In the midst of life we are in death..." And I'd say that the reverse is true as well - particularly in Lent - when we are the midst of death. Then as Christians, we know we are called back to life, because we are resurrection people. We believe in a Messiah who rises again, a light that shines in the darkness, and hope that cannot die. We know that even at the grave, as we make our song, God has already won the victory - and that death has already been conquered for us through the power of Christ and the cross. And so in Lent, I think it is fitting for us, even as we enter into a holy Lent, as we may space to listen for God, as we examine our lives and our patterns, we must remember WHY we do this. It isn't to focus just on our mortality, or the ways in which we are flawed, or to feel ashamed or badly about ourselves. We enter into the Lenten season of a deep desire to be more faithful, to walk more nearly with Jesus, and to clear some of the clutter out of our lives that will allow us to do that.

So, I pray that no matter who invited you today to observe a holy Lent, that you hear those words and take them in. I pray that you will makes peace - in whatever way will help you most - to listen and wait for God and to examine your life in the light of the Gospel. I hope you will join with the faithful around the world in repenting of those things we have done wrong and those good things we have failed to do. And I pray that you will remember throughout the season that God loves you and has made a way for you. May we all, when the light of Easter breaks, have journeyed faithfully enough that this light might be born again in our hearts, ready to shine the light of the Gospel in the world around us. 

God bless you as you begin this journey.

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Plus ça change...

2/4/2018

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PictureOur patron, Saint Andrew, turns up in the Gospel. He of course felt lots of urgency apparently as he was "first called" by Jesus and immediately left everything to follow.
This weekend, I had the incredible privilege of spending some time away at Camp Washington with some colleagues and some of the folks in the ordination process in the Episcopal Church in Connecticut. In the changing landscape of the church, and the changing landscape of formation for ordained ministry, we are often asking ourselves, "What do we wish we had learned more about before being ordained?" Or, "What do ordained folks need now that they aren't getting in other areas of their formation?" And out of those questions arose some thoughts for our time away this weekend - in which we gathered to explore broadly the "priestly role." How does one preside? How does one think through how to preside in liturgies and how to assume the role of priest in the world, at bedsides, in church, and in the homes of the people we serve? What does it mean for us, with our hands, minds, feet, and bodies to step into the authority of this role and the privilege of service?

To protect the sacred space of our time away, I won't tell you too much about it - but it's important for the sake of this post for me to share the fact that we spent a significant amount of time exploring the theology of the Eucharist that is offered to us in our own Book of Common Prayer. We looked back thousands of years at some of the earliest examples of Eucharistic Prayers and considered together how one might move, what gestures one might use, and why it matters that we understand the intention of the church when we all gather at the Altar. For me, now more than six years into active ordained life, it was refreshing - almost like a retreat. A chance to stop for a while and re-consider the great gift that is the Eucharist and the way it mysteriously binds us together. What's so incredible about this great mystery is that from the very beginning, it's clear that Christians believe that something special is happening at the Eucharist; that Jesus is present with us in our prayers and then ultimately in the bread and wine. This belief, this ritual, is passed down through time, through the muscle memory of the Body of Christ, from one congregation to another, one generation to the next.

​As I prepared for the sermon this morning, looking at Mark's Gospel (which you can read here), and to a certain extent the Epistle for the day as well, I was reminded of the urgency of God's mission. In the Gospel, we have an example of something Jesus does from time to time - he shows up in a place, does the work he's there to do, and then rather suddenly disappears - moving on to the next place, the next need, the next person who needs to hear the good news. This is a pretty common move for Jesus. He's constantly scanning the horizon for the next thing - in fact, Mark quotes him today as saying, "Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” That is what I came out to do. 

​If we, as Episcopalians, believe in a priesthood of all believers - and that all of us are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world, part of God's mission to reconcile and restore creation, then all of us have this same call on our lives - this same urgency. It's not about rushing - but it's also not about lingering too long. When the story has been told, the good news shared, the work finished, the needs met - then it's time to go on to the next place. Time for us to be looking for the next opportunity to tell the story, do the work, love and serve the next person who needs to know Jesus. It means that our work - our call in faith, is constantly changing. In part, that's because the world is constantly changing; and yet it's also because needs change, people are different, and so the way that we share the good news will change as well depending on where we are, who is around us, and what tools we have at hand. Jesus does a number of different things as he travels. From time to time he tells people the good news, teaches, shares stories - at other times he casts out demons, heals the sick, questions corrupt authority, prays, preaches, and performs miracles - which include feeding people and turning water into wine (just to name a few!). Jesus' own ministry requires a lot of flexibility - a lot of gifts - a lot of willingness to change and adapt to the situation in which he finds himself.

You may not think these two ideas go together - the consistency of the Eucharist (of Jesus' presence with and in the Church) - and the urgent and emergent change we experience and are called to - and yet, these two ideas are deeply linked. In some ways, they must be linked for the church to survive. As we change (we the church, not just the Episcopal Church, but many Christians), our work will change as well. We will continue to be called to meet new needs, to be flexible in new ways, to share the good news with new words and with new technologies. And while we're called to urgently go and do the work, to love and serve and change the world, we'll need still to return to that which doesn't change - to Jesus' presence in and amongst us - to the way we experience Jesus in the Eucharist and in the sacraments. It is this presence that grounds us, these rituals that remind us who we are, these sacraments - moments outside of time and space - when God calls us beloved - that we remember whose we are. And the truth is, we must have both. We must experience the urgent nature of being sent and know that we can only serve well if we have first been fed by Word & Sacrament - because our identity as God's beloved never changes, never moves, never leaves us.

We must be urgent - and ready - and flexible - ready to go and share the good news. We must be people of hope who are constantly looking for the next way to tell the story of Jesus and the next person we can serve in his name. And we must remember that our identity, our strength, our nourishment comes from this great river of faithfulness that stands outside of time and space connecting us to the saints that came before - and the saints who will come after us. We must have both the urgent change and the stable faith.

In these last few weeks of "Ordinary Time", I pray that you will hear God calling to you - pressing on you - urgently - to do the work to which you have been called. The work that is yours to do. And that as you seek to do that work, you will draw on the peace and strength that comes from the presence of God in our worship, in the gathered Body of Christ, and the unchanging witness of the Church throughout time and space. God bless you.


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Photo Credit:"© Plamen Agov • studiolemontree.com [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons" 
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Vocation...? Say what, now?

11/21/2017

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On Sunday, while the lessons painted a bit of a fiery picture, one of the couples of our congregation reaffirmed the marriage vows they made to each other 30 years ago. At the main service, in the sight of the congregation, gathered with friends and family, these two gave thanks for the gift of God's blessing on their life and looked forward to (at least) another 30 years of marriage together. What a gift it was to be with them as they and God reaffirmed this covenant.

This was also the Sunday just following our Diocesan Convention here in the Episcopal Church in Connecticut. So, I wanted to tell the congregation a little bit about what Bishop Ian had talked about in his Convention address. And, on top of that, I felt the need (as I always do) to talk about the Gospel for the day - even if I wasn't going to dig into Zephaniah and Thessalonians (and the fire and brimstone of the coming of the day of the Lord). 

And though it may not seem like these three things are connected, there is, in fact, a common thread. And that thread is vocation. In the secular world, when we talk about vocation, it's often in reference to a particular kind of skill or work. That's why we have places called "vocational schools," a place someone goes to learn a particular craft. In the church, though, I'd suggest that this word means a little more. It's less a call to a particular kind of work - and perhaps more a call to a particular kind of life (which is inclusive of particular work). Before I was ordained, I spent a lot of time explaining to folks, and hoping that others would see and affirm what I felt was a vocation to the priesthood - a call to this particular kind of life as a priest. The other really important thing about vocation, at least as I hear the word in the context of the church, is that ultimately, one of the gifts - or one of the signs - of vocation is that Christ is made more visible; that somehow because of our willingness to submit to this call, God helps us to show Christ's love in the world.

It's important to remember that in the Episcopal Church, we believe that God has work for all Christians to do - which means that each one is called to a vocation - or several vocations. And that's important because it's not just me who is called to make Christ's love visible - in fact, it's all of us - it's just that you might be called to do that work differently than I am. You can be sure that God does call you to something particular, and that engaging in that work is intended to help others come to know Jesus. By virtue of our baptism, all Christians are called this life - a life outlined by our Baptismal Covenant - a life of following Jesus, participating in the life of the church, and respecting the dignity of every human being. We are also called to repent of our sin, return to the Lord, seek and serve Christ in all people, and hopefully someday soon - to cherish and protect the wonders of God's creation. It's quite a tall order. And, in this world that becomes increasingly individualist and faith-less, this vocation to be a Christian is, indeed, a very particular kind of life. A life that inherently calls you to very particular work - that of relationship building, justice-making, and learning to love your neighbor.

So, on Sunday, I talked a little bit about what I heard in our Bishop's address as an exciting call to discover a new vocation. As the world around us continues to change, as the needs of the communities around us continue to change, Bishop Ian asked us to let go of the past and to begin to see the wonders and challenges of the new season in which we live - a new missional era. He reminded us that we will need to be brave in this new season, that there is more change yet to come, and that God will have God's way. In all this, I hear something really exciting - a call to newness of life - a chance for us to re-imagine and re-engage what it means to be Christian today...what this particular life looks like to which God calls us. I believe, as do our Bishops, that God is still knitting us together in the Episcopal Church in Connecticut - that we are still being formed - more and more into a Body that can share Christ's love, that can offer an image of Jesus to a hurting world.

This is not unlike the way that we've discovered our vocation here at the parish in the last few years. Through our listening and praying and our exploring of the neighborhood around us, we have discovered a passion for feeding people - and in large part, I believe that's because Jesus is calling us to this work. In no uncertain terms, he tells us to love and feed our neighbors - and so we're working hard to do just that. This has become our vocation as we relate to the world outside our walls - as we try to build community, create new relationships, and feed our hungry neighbors. In all of this, I hope that what we're offering people is an image of Christ's love: Jesus who would sit and talk, Jesus who would open the door and welcome folks in, Jesus who would feed without asking questions. This is a really important part of our vocation as a parish family.

Marriage is a vocation, too. Like all vocations, this means that not everyone is going to be called to this particular way of life - and by that, I mean that there are other ways to live as a faithful Christian without being married. For those of us who are called to it, however, it is also intended to offer an image of Christ's love to the world. The married couple must learn to love each other - to forgive each other - and to bear with one another in good times and in bad. And in so doing, they offer each other a glimpse of the unfailing, overwhelming, omnipresent love of God. And, if they submit to this work, if they give themselves to one another, by the power of the Holy Spirit, they become a new creation - a new unit - capable of showing an image of God's love to the people and communities around them. 

The Gospel on Sunday, the Parable of the Talents, touches on individual vocation. (You can read the parable here.) The slave who takes his talent and buries it in the ground neglects the responsibility he has been given. The other two take their talents and invest them - use them, capitalize on them. Perhaps in the process, they also invest in others - or in a particular market - so they use their investment wisely not only for themselves, but perhaps their actions have an effect on others as well. In the response of the Master, there is a stark difference. The two who invest their talent are rewarded with more responsibility. The other, who hid his talent in the ground, is cast out into the darkness - left out of community, with severed relationships, and no more access to responsibility.

I believe this passage, too, is a call to vocation. It reminds us that God has given gifts (and talents!) to each of us. These take many forms, but they include our skills, passions, intellect, abilities, wealth, relationships, and time. And we are intended to invest them in the Kingdom of Heaven - to capitalize on them, to make good use of them - to have a positive effect on others and to offer the people around us God's love. To use our gifts, to live into our vocation as Christians, to make the world around us better in the name of Jesus - so that more people might know Jesus' love. The trouble comes when we don't use these gifts in that way - when we take what we've been given and hoard it for ourselves, when we hide it in the ground out of fear, when we refuse to risk enough to use these gifts for the greater good. Because here, too, all that we have is a gift from God, intended to be used by us (Jesus' hands and feet in the world) to show people the image of Jesus.

Vocation. Corporate - as it is in the church, as we learn together about our new vocation, our new ways of showing people Jesus in this changed landscape. Relational - as it is in marriage or in any deep, faithful relationship - in which we are called to love one another and bring out the best in each other, relationships in which we have the opportunity to love each other - and out of this love - produce for the world around us an image of Jesus. And vocation is individual - by virtue of our baptism - each one of us is called to go out into the world ready to love and serve the people we meet - to tell them this great story, and ultimately, to show them the love of Jesus.

What are your vocation(s)? To what work are you called by God and because of your baptism? How does that work figure into your every day life? And how well are you living into these vocation(s)? How well are you loving your neighbors, using your talents, and showing people Jesus?



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Of vineyards, winepresses, & wine.

10/8/2017

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The lessons today all seem to be focused on the harvest - fitting for the fall season, even if it doesn't feel like fall outside. Three times today we heard the image of the people of God as a vineyard - which God digs round, prepares for, tends to, and ultimately seeks to harvest. Both in the Gospel and in Isaiah's text, it's clear that God (or the landowner) has given the vineyard - and the vineyard workers - everything they need to succeed. Based on all the work God has put in, the vineyard should produce big, ripe grapes which can be turned into good, hearty wine.

Wine, in the first century, was much more a common piece of life than it is now. Now, we might go out to a restaurant and order a nice glass - or we might think about pairing it with a particular meal - for dinner or a special occasion. At the time, though, the wine was something folks drank much more often - throughout the day, even - not to pair with their food or even to have a good time - but because it was the cleanest, safest thing to drink. Think about it - the first century wasn't known for it's cleanliness and irrigation. So, wine was one of those necessary things for life. Not a luxury, not a hobby, but a necessity. So, you can imagine, that a vineyard would be a valuable thing to own - and it produced something not just valuable - but important to the life and health of the whole community around the vineyard.

If we continue further into the allegory of Matthew's Gospel, we can begin to see that God is the landowner - leasing the vineyard out to the tenants who ignore, beat, and then kill the "slaves" or emissaries that the landowner sends. We, of course, are the tenants - the workers in God's vineyard - and the vineyard is the whole people of God - from which God hopes to reap the harvest of righteousness: a harvest of good fruit, brought forth by faith and good work, a harvest that can be pressed and transformed into the wine that will nurture, care for, and ultimately change the world.

The trouble is, the tenants (so, us) don't want to hear that it's time to give back the harvest. The tenants want to hold on to their work - which, on some level, I suppose we can't fault them for. The work is hard. It's laborious. It's heavy - and the climate is hot. First they have to grow the grapes and tend to them. Then they have to harvest them. And then, they go into this great wine press in the middle of the vineyard. And the winepress of the first century is rather like a shallow basin with a steep floor in the middle - and it's on this incline that the grapes would be pressed (stomped on, actually) by the workers. The juice runs down, collects in a basin, or goes right through a couple of holes into channels that take it further into vats. And in these vats it tends to sit for a few days as it ferments and turns into wine that's safe to drink. There are a lot of steps. And most of it is hard work. Hot, messy work that yields something incredible - not just through our own work - but also through the work of God - present in the waiting wine, in the magic of fermentation - in the wonder of nature that God has created that we can only try to understand. So, we do the labor - God does the transformation.

If, in this parable, the whole people of God is the vineyard - and as individuals, we are the workers, then each of us has specific work to do - work that contributes to the project as a whole and ultimately, through the health and wellbeing of the community around us, helps to build the Kingdom of God. And, it's helpful that the parable seems to recognize that our work is hard. Though we have assigned roles, specific gifts, Kingdom building work is never easy - it's always messy and hard. We don't always know the right way to go, the right thing to do, and sometimes it requires more of us than we expected. And we always need God to come in among us, with the power of the Spirit, to transform us and our work - because God can use even the little things we do to accomplish more than we ever could have imagined.

There's two really hard things about this parable, though. The first is the killing of the prophets - and then the killing of the Son. In a perfect world, with people who were inherently faithful, this wouldn't have happened. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it - God builds the vineyard and fills it with people. People like us, who are imperfect - who make mistakes - and who are always tempted to look out for ourselves first. So, these folks didn't necessarily want to hear the words of the prophets - calling them back to right relationship with God and with each other. And they (and we, lest you think we get to shove this off on other people) don't want to hear the words of Jesus, either - who comes to remind us that all that we have is a gift from God - and we are intended to use all those gifts for the building and growing of the Kingdom - so, in other words, for the harvesting of fruit, and the pressing of wine, in anticipation of what God might do.

The trouble with the tenants is that they forget that all they have - the food they eat, the land they live on, the tools they use - all of it belongs to the landowner. Rather like us. The life we live, the air we breathe, the family and friends we love, the resources we have in this life - everything has been given to us by God, who has given us a season to live in the vineyard - and to produce good fruit. The parable is intended to convict the Pharisees - and us, if we're honest; to force us to look at the gifts we have been given - and whether or not we're using them.

Are we contributing to the needs of the saints? Are we feeding our neighbors, clothing the poor, and loving the stranger? Are we calling our senators and representatives to protest unjust laws? Are we using all of our power and means in order to create a society in which everyone has what they need? Are we using our spiritual, intellectual, financial, and social resources in order to speak up for those who are voiceless and create space for those who are marginalized? Are we learning to be better allies, to own our privilege, and to stand with - specifically in our country today - our African-American, Immigrant, Jewish, Muslim, and LGBTQ brothers and sisters? And are we seeking to be peace-makers around the world?

Or, are we just enjoying the gifts we have? Keeping them for ourselves?

Because you see, it's important that the winepress is at the center of the vineyard. It's the place where all the grapes come to be transformed before they are sent back out in a different form to the whole community. The grapes come in as fruit, harvested yes - but still raw, untamed. And they are pressed - and shaped - and re-made into something else - by the labor of the workers - and the goodness of God. This press is rather like the church. Where we come each week, from all around, to do our part - to serve - to be reshaped - and, by the goodness of God, to be transformed before we are sent back out to nurture the neighborhoods and the world around us. Sent out, as the Apostles were, to change the world. From this one central place - which should also be the center of our lives if we are, indeed, the people of God.

Now, if you're saying, wait a minute...we're the vineyard, and the workers...and the wine? Yes, I hear you, but I'm not suggesting we're the wine, exactly...but that, in fact, the wine is the fruit of our faith being transformed. I'm suggesting that when we come to church, to be restored, we bring with us the raw scraps of our hearts - our lives - our intentions, our successes and failures - and that when those raw things come together - with our work and God's blessing, something else is created that can comfort, challenge, love, pull at, feed, nurture, and completely change the world around us. I'm also suggesting that sometimes in church, there are times when we are the ones doing the hard work of pressing (on ourselves or on others) - and sometimes it's others who press us into new ways of being and new understandings. And in all cases, I'm suggesting that if we do the faithful work, the work each of us has been given to do - that God will come, mercifully, lovingly, and bring the transformation. And make sure that what's in the wine - is just what the world needs.

​In my sermon this morning, I also talked a little bit about what happens if we don't do the work - which is a present warning in the parable. The threat isn't what the Pharisees foresee - but instead, it's the idea that those who don't do the work will be replaced. Those who wish to keep the fruit and the wine for themselves, or those who are too distracted or too lazy to do the work - will be replaced by people who will do the work and who will give back the produce. God will have God's way one way or another. God's mission will continue with or without us - God will find ways to restore right relationship between us and bring everyone into relationship with God - even if we are too lazy or too caught up in ourselves to help. And the tragedy of being replaced isn't that we believe in a punishing God who will hurt us or terrify us - it's that we'll be left out - that we'll miss out - on the joy of this work, on the gift of community, and on the blessing and transformation of God. The tragedy is that we miss out on the fullness of life now. And who really wants to miss that? I can't imagine wanting to miss out on the beauty - and wonder - and sometimes bittersweetness of the building of the Kingdom of God.

So, I hope that today - and throughout this week - you'll let this parable confront you. Take stock of the gifts you've been given. Remember that they all belong to God. And that from them you are intended to harvest good fruit - which you must give back to God - through your faith and your participation in Christian community - AND through your faithful engagement in the world around you on behalf of your neighbor...

And know that if you do that work, no matter how messy and difficult it may be, God will work through you to do more than you ever could have possibly imagined.

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​To read the lessons for the day, click here. We're on Track 2.
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    Author

    The Rev. Marissa S. Rohrbach is an Episcopal priest, writer, and spiritual wanderer. She is blessed to serve as Rector and partner-in-ministry to God's beloved at
    St. Matthew's Episcopal Church in Wilton, CT. 
    The views expressed here are her own and do not represent the views of any other body or insititution. 

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